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Migraine agony
Jan. 16th, 2005 01:46 amUgh.... So I didn't get to sleep until about 6 in the morning last night and I spent until 5:30pm today in bed, sleeping off and on. I woke up around 9 because my Dad decided to cook omellettes with Laura, Brian and my Mom and he has the most penetrating voice imaginable. So that woke me up... which wouldn't have been so bad except that up until then I'd only had 3 hours and then my family wouldn't let me get BACK to sleep. Laura and Mom had their typical cats and dogs fight (Laura was going to my Aunt's today and so my Mom wanted her to do the breakfast dishes and pack and Laura threw a mini-tantrum about it as always) and then Brian went on the living room computer. This alone wouldn't have been a problem except that that jackass decided to yell to Pat every five minutes about what to do next in his Icewind Dale game. I've got news for you. If you can't go more than 1/2 an hour without outside help in a computer game, you should stop PLAYING. After a solid two hours of this I literally freaked out.
One of the biggest problems with CFS is sleep. EVERYTHING revolves around it. I have massive insomnia problems and a wacked out schedule but worst of all, if I don't get at least 8 hours a day I get really really sick. Now I'm usually pretty sick but what I mean by really sick is every fiber of my muscles cries out in pain, my migraine automatically escalates to the highest level imaginable, my light and sound senstivity freaks out (which as you can imagine isn't too helpful for getting back to sleep) and everything flat out sucks. And while I can take Ultracet for the migraine the only solution is more sleep. So as you can imagine, I was righteously ticked off that my family was making me sicker and not letting me get back to sleep.
Fortunately after my major freak out, my Mom FINALLY dragged my brothers out (after only 8 behests upon my part to get them to "shut up or leave") gave me ultracet, and made people be quiet so I could get back to sleep. And I did... until my Aunt and Uncle came. And then my Uncle had to install my new Dell printer and this required oodles and oodles of networking. Luckily this time I wasn't QUITE as sick having gotten another 2 hours but I still desperately needed more sleep so I laid there for quite some time with a pillow over my head trying to ignore the loudly talking people (this time my Aunt who ALSO has a rather penetrating voice and reminds me a TON of Aunt Polgara... remind me to bring up that comparison again sometime) trying to get back to sleep again. I did EVENTUALLY (after at least 2-3 hours I think) after my Mom, Aunt, and sister went shopping and I only awoke again when they returned sending my entire house into the pits of chaos as there was yelling, screaming, and honking of horns so as to put away groceries. After that one, I fully gave up on trying to get back to sleep today, especially as it was 5:30pm by this time.
The first time I freaked out this morning though my very first thought was well that's it. It's all over. I told them from the start when it comes to me being selfish, I'm going to be REALLY selfish about my sleep because the pain and agony of when I don't get enough is flat out unbearable. And my one major rule when they wanted to move me down here was that no matter WHAT TIME OF DAY IT WAS, no matter WHAT PEOPLE WANTED TO DO, they could NOT under ANY circumstances WAKE ME UP. I simply can't take it and until now, there've been some minor problems with it but overall they've been pretty respectful but today blew it. I asked Pat and Brian what seemed like a thousand times to stop talking or LEAVE but no... and with my Aunt and Uncle, I knew it was coming and that would have been survivable. But HELLO! Yelling in my room????? wtf???? Could they maybe NOT go out of their way to wake me up? Especially when I've already reminded them. And the worst part is, as long as I'm in a half-sleep which is when I can still hear everything going on around but be just at a level where I can get back to real sleep eventually, things are dealable... but only to a point. See if I have to respond more than a NnnnNNN! or the like then it starts to pull me out of that halfsleep. Once in a while I can get away with maybe ONE full "SHUT UP!!" kind of response and still get back to sleep but I have to do it more than once then I really start getting pulled out. And only under extreme circumstances (such as the 2 hours of sleep or taking Benadryl which I won't do anymore because it gives me nightmares and makes me muscle-weary) can I get back to sleep.
So halfsleep is kind of good... but it has it's major faults. As long as things mellow out and become quiet it's usually pretty easy for me to get to sleep again, so on a normal school day this is excellent as sometimes wake me up as they're all fleeing to school and having their usual arguments but once they're gone I can usually get to sleep again. Today however it was a major problem. If they'd just left and stayed upstairs after the Omelette fiasco I probably could have gotten back to sleep without a hitch BUT they suck. Seriously.
And I've tried to nice about it... I mean, yes, I explained this to them before and I've laid down the rules of Shut up while I'm sleeping if you're near my room but come on... they're idiots! I get migraines all the time as you know and really bad ones about 2-3 times a week (more if they're continuing) and those make me sound senstive and you'll ask them to be quiet (painstakingly so) and not even five minutes later they'll be yelling at each other again. So yes... they're dumb/insanely forgetful and it's not their fault and how were they to realize that they've pushed me out of full sleep and into half-sleep like 5 times today? It's not like I could TELL them. But at some point I have to draw the line. At some point I have to say, for your 3 minutes of thoughtlessness I will be in agony for the next 18 hours and really, I just don't think that's fair when all of you have rooms and other places to be and I can't exactly magically teleport myself, still asleep to somewhere else to go to sleep while you engage in your thoughtless sillyness. I mean... I don't at 4 in the morning go into their rooms and take a hammer and stake and drive said wooden stick into their HEADS but they might as well be doing that to me.
*sigh* I hate this. I hate this with a passion. I want to not be sick. And I will not give into the whole "this is what I could do if I was better" because it's fruitless, but I have some pretty good days usually and even my bad days are SOOOOO much better than this one. Tonight I've been talking to Sarah, Stephen Silva and Greg and not once have I let on that the light from my laptop is literally making me puke. I refuse to turn off my laptop because it's an emotional thing. As long as I have my laptop and can do something semi-productive I'm happy. The minute I turn it off the only thing left to me will be the TV and then I will become morbidly depressed. It's very hard to explain this to people. It is literally hurting me right now to continue this typing. Every 5 minutes I have to turn away from the light and I've been throwing up from pain. But it's STILL better than turning it off. It's like... with the ER and IVs. Sometimes it can really help, they will get me medicine and sometimes it will work... but the process is so AGONIZINGLY awful that I'd rather have an explosive headache for 3 months without break before subjecting myself to getting an IV.
And it's migraines like this that make me say, yeah, Botox shots you say? BRING IT ON!!! *woozy*
So originally back before my 2nd dosage of Ultracet wore off (God, how I love that medicine... I really do think it's a direct gift from God) I'd been hoping to do some Ryoga story writing. It grew more and more... difficult (btw I don't want to take a 3rd Ultracet unless in 3 hours it's still worse and I can't get to sleep for the night because it's that bad because I only have one left and they're like $10 for 3-4 pills.... stupid freaking insurance... it's Bush's fault too but that is a rant for another time) so I decided just to do the name thing.
So far I have Kachina Watarmino (the first part is Native American meaning sacred dancer, the second part is direct Japanese for wanderer) her best friend Sarah Elachi (Elachi is the last name of one of the scientists who worked on the Saturn Spaceship; I made the real Sarah pick it out so I should have known :P) Ryoga Hibiki (duh) but I couldn't decide what to do for her ex-boyfriends name. I knew it had to be an R name (long explanation but trust me, it's important) but I wasn't sure what. So I went through, wrote up my list and then began work on last names. So now I've decided to place the combinations here because well... nobody else is online to ask what they think so here's the list for the first name possibilities. (And one more side note; I've decided screw waiting, my migraines getting worse and I'm taking the Ultracet. Hopefully I can get to sleep before it wears off....)
Name: Origin: Meaning:
Ralph English Wolf Counselor
Randolph English Wolf with a shield
Rolf* Scandinavian Wolf
Raul Spanish Wolf Counselor
Rawlins Old English Son of a Little Wolf
Ransford Old English Raven's Ford
Ransley Old English Raven's Meadow
Remington Old English From the Raven's Home
Ratri Hindi Night
Raynard Old Norse/German Brave one/Mighty army
Reidar Scandinavian Warrior
Rochester Old English Rock Fortress
Raidon Japanese Thunder God
Ronin Japanese Samurai without a master
Now some notes here. Rolf has an * because Greg S. liked it so that's one vote for it and the one I'll be using later but I put up the rest of the list in case I get a whole bunch of votes for a different one. Also, the wolfish ones I like because the character is rather... well wolfish, the raven ones I like because he is slightly a bad guy and ravens & crows = pure evil. And the warrior type ones I like because it's a martial arts story and he knows martial arts etc. Oh! And another thing, he does drill team and dance so he can twirl a rifle and he knows fencing. And now for the last names list in the same above format.
Name: Origin: Meaning:
Ajax Greek Strong Warrior
Marcello Latin Young warrior
Aloysius German Warrior
Saxen/Saxton Celtic/Galic/English Swordsman
Alger German Clever Warrior
Bevan Celtic Youthful Warrior
Caedmon Celtic Wise Warrior
Kardos Hungarian Swordsman
Borka Slavic Fighter
Devante Spanish Fighter
Averill Old English Boar-Warrior
Gedeon Hungarian Warrior/devastator
Gideon Hebrew Warrior
Vitez Hungarian Brave
Ronin Japanese Samurai without a master
Now as you can see I put Ronin there too, just in case. Another note; Averill I find completely humorous and appropriate because a) Ryoga turns into a pig (and as you can tell, when the ex comes back there'll be a battle bwahahaha) and b) Akari is the only girl in the series to ever fall in love with Ryoga (though unfortunately he's still pining after Akane who's already engaged) and it turns out, she raises Sumo Pigs (well they have people turning into pandas and like because they get splashed with water so why not???) and Ryoga defeats her strongest and best pig so she falls in love with him (she has issues...) and since he turns INTO a pig she loves him even more for it. So I started thinking hmmmmmm a boar-warrior huh? Well that would rather neatly put them BOTH out of the picture mwahahhahaha
Long Sidenote here (feel free to skip): I personally feel that Akari's a terrible match for Ryoga and not just because I want him all to myself but because he has so many MORE qualities than the pig thing and she only matches that one aspect and I feel Ryoga deserves someone who not only likes pigs but can do martial arts, rythmic gymnastics/winterguard (he can do that! No really! He knows how to work swingflags, and use an action ribbon like a whip! And given what he can do with his umbrella I'm quite certain he'd be EXCELLENT with a sabre! Is it really any wonder I fell in love with him) and find her way places and read a map. Which is how my story was born.....
In any case, I like the last name of Averill for the whole boar warrior thing, however I've only gone through using Rolf (since that's the one Greg S. liked) and paired it up with the ones that sound best so we get:
Rolf Marcello
Rolf Saxton
Rolf Bevan
Rolf Caedmon
Rolf Kardos
Rolf Borka
Rolf Vitez
And notice that Rolf Averill isn't up there because it sounds ewwy (as does Rolf Ronin... much too alliterationary which detracts from the meaning.) In fact of all of them I feel that Rolf Marcello sounds the best. It has a very nice ring to it. But if say I get REALLY hung up on the Averill thing and decide Akari should be in the story after all and why not pair her up with R-man then we can take the first names and go through and see which sounds best:
Randolph Averill
Raidon Averill
Ransford Averill
Ronin Averill
And that's more or less it. As you can see, a much shorter list. So I put the question out there. What do YOU think? As Silk says, "The whole character hangs on the name." And it's been proven to me time and time again. In any case I've had enough of this self-inflicted torture (pity not for the pain of being on a comp. but for my stupidity of continuing it nevertheless) and I'm off to slumberland to dream for Ryoga. If I can get up my ladder that is.... Good luck to me.
(P.S. if no one tells me which they think rocks, I will be tracking people down and forcing this explanation on them in its entirety so keep that in mind.)
One of the biggest problems with CFS is sleep. EVERYTHING revolves around it. I have massive insomnia problems and a wacked out schedule but worst of all, if I don't get at least 8 hours a day I get really really sick. Now I'm usually pretty sick but what I mean by really sick is every fiber of my muscles cries out in pain, my migraine automatically escalates to the highest level imaginable, my light and sound senstivity freaks out (which as you can imagine isn't too helpful for getting back to sleep) and everything flat out sucks. And while I can take Ultracet for the migraine the only solution is more sleep. So as you can imagine, I was righteously ticked off that my family was making me sicker and not letting me get back to sleep.
Fortunately after my major freak out, my Mom FINALLY dragged my brothers out (after only 8 behests upon my part to get them to "shut up or leave") gave me ultracet, and made people be quiet so I could get back to sleep. And I did... until my Aunt and Uncle came. And then my Uncle had to install my new Dell printer and this required oodles and oodles of networking. Luckily this time I wasn't QUITE as sick having gotten another 2 hours but I still desperately needed more sleep so I laid there for quite some time with a pillow over my head trying to ignore the loudly talking people (this time my Aunt who ALSO has a rather penetrating voice and reminds me a TON of Aunt Polgara... remind me to bring up that comparison again sometime) trying to get back to sleep again. I did EVENTUALLY (after at least 2-3 hours I think) after my Mom, Aunt, and sister went shopping and I only awoke again when they returned sending my entire house into the pits of chaos as there was yelling, screaming, and honking of horns so as to put away groceries. After that one, I fully gave up on trying to get back to sleep today, especially as it was 5:30pm by this time.
The first time I freaked out this morning though my very first thought was well that's it. It's all over. I told them from the start when it comes to me being selfish, I'm going to be REALLY selfish about my sleep because the pain and agony of when I don't get enough is flat out unbearable. And my one major rule when they wanted to move me down here was that no matter WHAT TIME OF DAY IT WAS, no matter WHAT PEOPLE WANTED TO DO, they could NOT under ANY circumstances WAKE ME UP. I simply can't take it and until now, there've been some minor problems with it but overall they've been pretty respectful but today blew it. I asked Pat and Brian what seemed like a thousand times to stop talking or LEAVE but no... and with my Aunt and Uncle, I knew it was coming and that would have been survivable. But HELLO! Yelling in my room????? wtf???? Could they maybe NOT go out of their way to wake me up? Especially when I've already reminded them. And the worst part is, as long as I'm in a half-sleep which is when I can still hear everything going on around but be just at a level where I can get back to real sleep eventually, things are dealable... but only to a point. See if I have to respond more than a NnnnNNN! or the like then it starts to pull me out of that halfsleep. Once in a while I can get away with maybe ONE full "SHUT UP!!" kind of response and still get back to sleep but I have to do it more than once then I really start getting pulled out. And only under extreme circumstances (such as the 2 hours of sleep or taking Benadryl which I won't do anymore because it gives me nightmares and makes me muscle-weary) can I get back to sleep.
So halfsleep is kind of good... but it has it's major faults. As long as things mellow out and become quiet it's usually pretty easy for me to get to sleep again, so on a normal school day this is excellent as sometimes wake me up as they're all fleeing to school and having their usual arguments but once they're gone I can usually get to sleep again. Today however it was a major problem. If they'd just left and stayed upstairs after the Omelette fiasco I probably could have gotten back to sleep without a hitch BUT they suck. Seriously.
And I've tried to nice about it... I mean, yes, I explained this to them before and I've laid down the rules of Shut up while I'm sleeping if you're near my room but come on... they're idiots! I get migraines all the time as you know and really bad ones about 2-3 times a week (more if they're continuing) and those make me sound senstive and you'll ask them to be quiet (painstakingly so) and not even five minutes later they'll be yelling at each other again. So yes... they're dumb/insanely forgetful and it's not their fault and how were they to realize that they've pushed me out of full sleep and into half-sleep like 5 times today? It's not like I could TELL them. But at some point I have to draw the line. At some point I have to say, for your 3 minutes of thoughtlessness I will be in agony for the next 18 hours and really, I just don't think that's fair when all of you have rooms and other places to be and I can't exactly magically teleport myself, still asleep to somewhere else to go to sleep while you engage in your thoughtless sillyness. I mean... I don't at 4 in the morning go into their rooms and take a hammer and stake and drive said wooden stick into their HEADS but they might as well be doing that to me.
*sigh* I hate this. I hate this with a passion. I want to not be sick. And I will not give into the whole "this is what I could do if I was better" because it's fruitless, but I have some pretty good days usually and even my bad days are SOOOOO much better than this one. Tonight I've been talking to Sarah, Stephen Silva and Greg and not once have I let on that the light from my laptop is literally making me puke. I refuse to turn off my laptop because it's an emotional thing. As long as I have my laptop and can do something semi-productive I'm happy. The minute I turn it off the only thing left to me will be the TV and then I will become morbidly depressed. It's very hard to explain this to people. It is literally hurting me right now to continue this typing. Every 5 minutes I have to turn away from the light and I've been throwing up from pain. But it's STILL better than turning it off. It's like... with the ER and IVs. Sometimes it can really help, they will get me medicine and sometimes it will work... but the process is so AGONIZINGLY awful that I'd rather have an explosive headache for 3 months without break before subjecting myself to getting an IV.
And it's migraines like this that make me say, yeah, Botox shots you say? BRING IT ON!!! *woozy*
So originally back before my 2nd dosage of Ultracet wore off (God, how I love that medicine... I really do think it's a direct gift from God) I'd been hoping to do some Ryoga story writing. It grew more and more... difficult (btw I don't want to take a 3rd Ultracet unless in 3 hours it's still worse and I can't get to sleep for the night because it's that bad because I only have one left and they're like $10 for 3-4 pills.... stupid freaking insurance... it's Bush's fault too but that is a rant for another time) so I decided just to do the name thing.
So far I have Kachina Watarmino (the first part is Native American meaning sacred dancer, the second part is direct Japanese for wanderer) her best friend Sarah Elachi (Elachi is the last name of one of the scientists who worked on the Saturn Spaceship; I made the real Sarah pick it out so I should have known :P) Ryoga Hibiki (duh) but I couldn't decide what to do for her ex-boyfriends name. I knew it had to be an R name (long explanation but trust me, it's important) but I wasn't sure what. So I went through, wrote up my list and then began work on last names. So now I've decided to place the combinations here because well... nobody else is online to ask what they think so here's the list for the first name possibilities. (And one more side note; I've decided screw waiting, my migraines getting worse and I'm taking the Ultracet. Hopefully I can get to sleep before it wears off....)
Name: Origin: Meaning:
Ralph English Wolf Counselor
Randolph English Wolf with a shield
Rolf* Scandinavian Wolf
Raul Spanish Wolf Counselor
Rawlins Old English Son of a Little Wolf
Ransford Old English Raven's Ford
Ransley Old English Raven's Meadow
Remington Old English From the Raven's Home
Ratri Hindi Night
Raynard Old Norse/German Brave one/Mighty army
Reidar Scandinavian Warrior
Rochester Old English Rock Fortress
Raidon Japanese Thunder God
Ronin Japanese Samurai without a master
Now some notes here. Rolf has an * because Greg S. liked it so that's one vote for it and the one I'll be using later but I put up the rest of the list in case I get a whole bunch of votes for a different one. Also, the wolfish ones I like because the character is rather... well wolfish, the raven ones I like because he is slightly a bad guy and ravens & crows = pure evil. And the warrior type ones I like because it's a martial arts story and he knows martial arts etc. Oh! And another thing, he does drill team and dance so he can twirl a rifle and he knows fencing. And now for the last names list in the same above format.
Name: Origin: Meaning:
Ajax Greek Strong Warrior
Marcello Latin Young warrior
Aloysius German Warrior
Saxen/Saxton Celtic/Galic/English Swordsman
Alger German Clever Warrior
Bevan Celtic Youthful Warrior
Caedmon Celtic Wise Warrior
Kardos Hungarian Swordsman
Borka Slavic Fighter
Devante Spanish Fighter
Averill Old English Boar-Warrior
Gedeon Hungarian Warrior/devastator
Gideon Hebrew Warrior
Vitez Hungarian Brave
Ronin Japanese Samurai without a master
Now as you can see I put Ronin there too, just in case. Another note; Averill I find completely humorous and appropriate because a) Ryoga turns into a pig (and as you can tell, when the ex comes back there'll be a battle bwahahaha) and b) Akari is the only girl in the series to ever fall in love with Ryoga (though unfortunately he's still pining after Akane who's already engaged) and it turns out, she raises Sumo Pigs (well they have people turning into pandas and like because they get splashed with water so why not???) and Ryoga defeats her strongest and best pig so she falls in love with him (she has issues...) and since he turns INTO a pig she loves him even more for it. So I started thinking hmmmmmm a boar-warrior huh? Well that would rather neatly put them BOTH out of the picture mwahahhahaha
Long Sidenote here (feel free to skip): I personally feel that Akari's a terrible match for Ryoga and not just because I want him all to myself but because he has so many MORE qualities than the pig thing and she only matches that one aspect and I feel Ryoga deserves someone who not only likes pigs but can do martial arts, rythmic gymnastics/winterguard (he can do that! No really! He knows how to work swingflags, and use an action ribbon like a whip! And given what he can do with his umbrella I'm quite certain he'd be EXCELLENT with a sabre! Is it really any wonder I fell in love with him) and find her way places and read a map. Which is how my story was born.....
In any case, I like the last name of Averill for the whole boar warrior thing, however I've only gone through using Rolf (since that's the one Greg S. liked) and paired it up with the ones that sound best so we get:
Rolf Marcello
Rolf Saxton
Rolf Bevan
Rolf Caedmon
Rolf Kardos
Rolf Borka
Rolf Vitez
And notice that Rolf Averill isn't up there because it sounds ewwy (as does Rolf Ronin... much too alliterationary which detracts from the meaning.) In fact of all of them I feel that Rolf Marcello sounds the best. It has a very nice ring to it. But if say I get REALLY hung up on the Averill thing and decide Akari should be in the story after all and why not pair her up with R-man then we can take the first names and go through and see which sounds best:
Randolph Averill
Raidon Averill
Ransford Averill
Ronin Averill
And that's more or less it. As you can see, a much shorter list. So I put the question out there. What do YOU think? As Silk says, "The whole character hangs on the name." And it's been proven to me time and time again. In any case I've had enough of this self-inflicted torture (pity not for the pain of being on a comp. but for my stupidity of continuing it nevertheless) and I'm off to slumberland to dream for Ryoga. If I can get up my ladder that is.... Good luck to me.
(P.S. if no one tells me which they think rocks, I will be tracking people down and forcing this explanation on them in its entirety so keep that in mind.)
