I went up another cup size

And not in coffee (although my tea consumption HAS gone up recently), but in other ways. And I swear it feels like just last week I was going crazy about them going up before.... Actually it wasn't even a full year only 8 months ago. And it isn't just that I'm G-cup that bugs me because in general I don't look it, I'm good at hiding it, and my fiance likes them that way... but it's obnoxious because I'm also still only a 32. And that is just... horrifying. I have the ribcage of a 6th grader. And I mean, my back doesn't hurt so long as I'm wearing relatively close to the right size (I have to do my own tailoring so if I start with a 36 I can get it down to 32) but when it does go up (which is gradual btw but then by the end they're like an inch too big and meh) it's painful until I do get the right size.

The other annoying thing is when people don't believe me :| I can actually measure and I don't want to wear the wrong size and jeebus, why would I WANT to go to 14 different stores trying to find an EXTREMELY obscure size that is hard to even get online (and if you do order online it tends to be not as well fitting because you can't check before buying) because seriously, there are so many better ways to get attention. And buying a bathing suit is the WORST kind of nightmare. I haven't been able to go store-bought since I was a D cup and even then I couldn't wear one-pieces because I have a really small behind (also why I can't buy matching underwear sets... given that I have to buy little girl's undies. Literally.) but it's gotten to the point that even sewing it is damn near impossible because I have to sew IN a bra to something relatively small/tight enough and finding bras is HARD.

And not cheap either. It's not really all THAT expensive if you're a B or C and you get all these great color options and designs and things but after D it's like they decide "oh no, we hate your chest, you must suffer because you went and got implants" even though I didn't get implants I just have the wrong genetics. BOTH sides of my family are huge.

So the last time they went up I was literally in tears with frustration (plus I'd just finished making alteration on a DD corset so to have to go to F/DDD was not so fun) and I'm not this time (mostly thanks to my fiancee convincing me it's not as bad as I think and is maybe even a good thing) but bra shopping is a nightmare even at 32 DD, near IMPOSSIBLE at DDD and I am REALLY not relishing tomorrow's attempts for G.

Here's another thing I don't get, why do people feel the need to hate on big boobs anyways? It's not my fault. I mean, I work out quite a bit, I'm small and skinny but I feel like I should practically be toppling over yet people tend to be all "Oh you must be fat then" or give me this junk about how "anything more than a handful is too much" etc. (don't get me started on that one) and NO models, not even the lingerie models are more than a D EVER. And most of the Victoria's Secret models are B with the RARE C. If guys supposedly like breasts so much how come none of the models HAVE them? And why do all these dang surveys keep coming out saying how guys actually prefer B cup?

I don't want to go shopping :( But it's worse having one that fits painfully wrong.

Oh and my biggest fear yet: WHEN WILL THEY STOP GROWING?!?!?! Technically most girls finish developing at 19 but I'm beyond that point and they aren't showing signs of stopping soon. I know it's silly but I have this silly fear I'll wind up like those SCARY string implant girls only mine will be natural :|

Well anyways, just getting that off my chest (no pun intended.)