Muppets; a metaphor for life

All I feel like doing today is playing games. In particular D&D or Civilization with my Dad and brothers but since they're supposed to be doing homework (but are actually playing chess) and my Dad's asleep I figure I can wait till tonight... or tomorrow since schools in Westbubble have been closed because it's supposed to be 23 below 0 tomorrow. Of course I have homework I should be doing (damn you creative writing class) or I could even be editing my book but I'm finding it hard to focus on writing, so this is my compromise. I figure maybe if I do a little non-pressure writing it'll be easy to actually do my creative writing -- or whatever else it is I end up doing.

So the other night I was trying to get to sleep. This is not unusual, don't get me wrong but I had to be up at 9:30 yesterday (which is really early for me since getting up at 2pm has become my regular) and because my Mom wanted me to try to go to bed early she told me "not to stay up too late" or else I'd have problems getting up. Well of course I already knew this but as my Mom has a very severe case of ADHD, she doesn't really remember that I have virtually no control over my sleeping hours. So I stayed up, watched Inuyasha and then my Dad went on the computer so I couldn't edit so I stayed downstairs and watched Spin City and eventually Lupin III -- and then went to bed. But of course I couldn't sleep because my Mom's words kept echoing in my head and I was trying far too hard to get to sleep. That's one of the things about insomnia. The more you try to get to sleep, the harder it becomes until you have to completely avoid even thinking about it. It doesn't sound difficult but when it's 4 in the morning and you keep thinking, "I need to get to sleep now or I'll be exhausted tomorrow" at that point if you can go an entire 30 seconds without thinking about it, it's a victory. I don't blame my Mom though, I just wish she wouldn't say things like that, they make it so much harder.

So during the 4 hours I was laying in my bed having trouble sleeping I found my brother's Muppet cd in my discman. This was odd as he has his own discman and I didn't put it there but whatever. So I listened to it. This was not conducive to sleeping however. The first half made me laugh (so much randomness -- like tapdancing, on a cd. At which point the hecklers were like, "You know in the show that wasn't funny but on a record it doesn't even make sense!" -- so true) and the second half for whatever reason (I blame the insomnia and too many English classes) I found to be very metaphoric and I found more and more that I could relate to the songs as different pieces of my own life. For example, It's Not Easy Being Green is very clearly about body-image and self-worth. And then He'll Make Her Happy suddenly became a song for my parents and about marriage in general. (On their 20th anniversary I'm so playing that for them) And Gonzo's Wishing Song ("I wish I had a coat of silk the color of the sky, I wish I had a lady fair as any butterfly, I wish I had a house of stone that looked down upon the sea but most of all I wish I was anyone but me") so describes my brother Patrick. And when I heard I'm Going to Go Back There Someday (the one Gonzo sings about flying) I realized that described oh so perfectly why I write/love fantasy.

Not too many people know this but if I had my own Mirror of Erised (Harry Potter) it'd show me in a fantasy realm. So here's the song:

This looks familiar,
Vaguely familiar
Almost unreal yet,
It's too soon to feel yet
Close to my soul
And yet so far away
I'm going to go back there someday

Sunrises, night falls
Sometimes the sky calls
Is that a song there?
And do I belong there?
I've never been there
But I know the way
I'm going to back there someday

Come and go with me
It's more fun to share
We'll both be completely
At home in midair
We're flying, not walking
On featherless wings
We can hold onto love
Like invisible strings

There's not a word yet
For old friends who've just met
Part heaven, part space
Or have I found my place?
You can't just visit
But I plan to stay
I'm going to go back there someday

I'm going to go back there someday

Now for Gonzo he was actually talking about flying because he's from outer space so it connects him to something "close to my soul and yet so far away" but for me, fantasy does that. When I read, watch, write, invent, create, *live* fantasy it seems to connect deep inside me. And that entire song perfectly describes that feeling more than anything I could say ever would so I'll just leave it like that.

And yes, Gonzo is my favorite Muppet character for anyone who was wondering. I mean come on, he played Charles Dickens in the Muppet Christmas Carol, put starfish in his pants in Muppet Treasure Island and in a Very Muppet Christmas in the alternate universe where Kermit didn't exist he was a street musician that played the guitar and was sad that nobody understood him. How can you not love that?

Now of course thinking about all of this (Muppets being a metaphor for life) was not helpful in getting to sleep, but in retrospect I did alright yesterday despite only getting 2 and a half hours. We went to Boston, I got acupuncture and my Mom lost 5 things and found them in one very very frantic hour. (She is *so* foregetful.) And the on the way home we stopped in Natick and Framingham, looked for fleece sweatshirts at Old Navy (and didn't find any I liked) but ended up getting two pairs of fuzzy slippers (boo-yeah) and looked for clothes for my bear at the Make-A-Bear Workshop and the place creeped me out so we went to Sam Goody's and I got a Duncan Sheik cd. And then I came home and died of muscle cramps. I officially hate the cold and love fleece. :)

Well anyways I have another paper for Creative Writing to write and since I'm starting to get a migraine I better do it now while I still can. And I wish Leanne was online to talk to.

Oh and I lied about the Director Auditions. I've decide I'll write about it when there's more to tell. :P

~CC